Forces of Nature: What I Learned When the Rains Became A Flood www.tatianascavnicky.com

Detroit News

I looked out my window this morning and saw a homeless man walking in the park. He put all he owned, which was in his backpack, down for a moment under the shade of a tree. I thought he would stop to sit underneath it, but he kept moving. In a flash, I was overwhelmed with deep gratitude and happiness as I looked out from my beautiful bungalow. 


We recently had four and half feet of sewer water in our basement and lost most of our studio equipment, music, tracks, data, musical equipment as well as countless personal items...extra things like blankets, extension chords etc. family photos, clothes, and furniture. The list goes on, to include my washer, dryer, furnace, hot water heater, and things I'm not even aware of yet. It's been a roller coaster ride of emotions, anger, sadness, tension and despair. I've been a monster to Mark at times, in spite my prayers to be kind and realize he is going through it too. I am human. Disasters bring out the human in us, good and bad. Disasters wipe out lives built. They wash away the material manifestation, the evidence of dreams worked on, cultivated and also built. 


I remind myself a better part of the world doesn't have access to running water, gas, electricity or plumbing. Thankfully I had a hot water heater installed the second day, after calling seven different companies. I wanted hot water for showers, but also so we could do a proper clean-up and disinfection of sewer water. I was in shock for two days but you can get a lot done when you are in that state. I had flood arms, muscular and tight from mopping and squeezing out the mop.

AP Photo by Carlos Osorio 

I knew at some point I would write about it. Our friends and family have been generous and kind, however the insurance company of which I have been a loyal and good customer for, could do nothing for us. But I look at the homeless man who doesn't stop to sit for a moment under the shade, even he keeps walking, planning and moving forward. 


I have been very human and not liked my attitude of which I do have total control over. Yes I cut myself slack for sure. It has been a crisis, but I saw some parts of me I thought I released, but disaster will do that. The Federal Emergency Management Association hasn't declared our flood a disaster yet. I have. The people that had to be rescued out of their cars by boat, just down my street would say it was. 


I waited for the good to come. I knew this disaster would give birth to unexpected gifts and blessings, I could not yet imagine. They started on day two. I knew from having a deep spiritual practice and being in touch with intuitive realms that a supernatural opportunity, a whole new way of looking at things and living would rise up....HAD to rise up...out of the piles and piles of garbage that sat outside my house. The cities in our county, and counties beyond, could not pick up the wreckage fast enough. It sat as a brutal reminder. Squirrels were gathering. Soon there would be rats. There are still piles of unsalvageable items in front of homes waiting for pick-up. Somewhere into week two,166,000 people in the surrounding area lost power. How many fans, blowers, and dehumidifiers would not be running to keep mold from taking over? When the power went out I freaked. I had been telling myself, we lost so much but at least we have electricity and hot water. When it came back on, I didn't have that usual relief. What more could go wrong? Just because it came back on, doesn't mean it will stay on.


I used to welcome the rain, but right now I am terrified of it. A mere week before the major flood, we'd  had just cleaned up and disinfected from three inches of water that came up from the drains during a storm, a smaller flood. Mark was at a gig. My baby girl cat Hina was laying down on the couch, her body full of anxiety as she watched the rain and hail hit the windows. Eventually I will be able to welcome the rain again and love it like I always have.

I am very claircognizant, which means clear-thinking. If you want to know if you are a clair cognizant too, check out this link.  I often talk about repetitive thoughts and feelings being your intuition speaking to you. During a weekend away, I kept hearing, "Life as you know it, will no longer exist." It was around the time of the August full moon in Aquarius so I was ready. I was expecting change. My moon is in Aquarius and I was feeling good. I intuitively knew things were shifting for me in a big way. I felt lost and disconnected, so I was ready for a new beginning....boy did I get one. 

I love to blog and write in the mornings journaling, sing and perform, and enjoy the beauty of life and my surroundings, but I wasn't doing that. I wasn't writing and sitting in the sun. Creatively I felt new things coming for me, and others falling away. I was doing all the things on my to-do list, except for the ones I put in place to keep me sane and bring me joy. I can see how I'd been putting my expectations of happiness on Mark in a big way. I was leaning into him because I was leaning away from myself. But I could not see that till now.

For three days my left ear was plugged up and it hurt. The specialist saw nothing. I know now, it was my intuition warning me of what was to come. The day of the flood I was up with the sun, but I was exhausted. I couldn't sleep. But I told myself no matter how I feel I can still have a good day. I'll make the best of it and take a beautiful morning walk. I felt the heat on me and reveled in it. Soon the heat will be gone. I need to remember what this feels like, I told myself. Be grateful, sometimes things don't go like you want them to.

My 1920's concrete and cinder block basement leaks. It looks dirty whether it's clean or not. I talked to the contractor who will rebuild our walls and studio back up. He thought of an amazing idea to prevent damage after flooding. He is blessing us with an amazing deal and ideas, AND he has amazing energy. He loves what he does and loves to be of service doing it. We came up with places for custom shelves and moving walls out to create bigger spaces. I had not realized yet a vision was coming together. 

I still waited for the blessing to appear out of the chaos. 


I've heard my neighbor's flood tales. We all know each other a bit better. At an appointment the other day, I knew I was looking at another flood victim. I call it the flood countenance. I knew they were going through it. It's a look of exhaustion mixed with gratefulness and humility. Eyes wide open. An expression of I'm here, and I've showed up to do what has to be done. Soon this will be over and I am exhausted. You don't want to bring it up. You don't want to go on about it. After a certain point part of you is past it, but your face lies, as only half of it has caught up with that idea. 


The paint guy was still stalling us, and the reputable
plumbing company didn't let us know it would be another week, before they could give us that estimate. When they finally did, it was for the option we didn't want. Our newly found contractor could do the work and for much less, another one of our miracles. Keep in mind as I write this, the painting is still not done, the plumbing or the walls. It's totally bare...a skeleton. I am happy at this point I've found a spot in my backyard to journal and write in the mornings with coffee. I can barely see the final evidence of the few things left in the yard, that can't be put back down into the basement yet. I wondered if I could see this whole nightmare differently. Mastin Kip said in an excerpt from his new book "Growing From Grace", " What if I look a this as a gift? What if I look at this like a necessary part of my journey?" So I waited...


While he's at it I thought, we could put a wall, door and shelves up for AngelEarth Studio. Then I had the a-hah, OMG, angel bumps moment. After the walls are up, custom shelves put in, and brand new epoxy floor, my basement would be brand new! In Feng Shui and energy work your basement represents safety, security, stability & money. It's your root chakra connection. It's the foundation, the beginning. This is going to be a total renewal, cleansing and literal fresh start. 


No matter how much you pray, or how faithful you are in your spiritual practice, things happen, bad things like four and a half feet of water in your basement. If you were running up and down the street celebrating the water in your basement as a gift from God, I'd say you were nuts. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Shit happens. Bad shit. We lash out, yell, and fall from our standards of behavior and we are still spiritual and divine.


My biggest lesson from this experience echoes the most important thing I learned this Summer. You can't control everything that happens to you with positive thoughts, meditation, prayer, helping others and doing all you can. If I could've controlled this I wouldn't have seen the changes I really need to make in myself and my life. I'd miss that I've not been as grateful as I'd like to think I am. I'd miss the responsibility I need to have for my well-being and how I show up for others. I'd excuse my sometimes self-righteous temper which came out in all it's glory, righteousness and splendor under pressure. I'd fail to see this blessing in disguise. I'd miss this chance at a new beginning.


ps. A huge Thank You to everyone who has participated in our Rebuild AngelEarth Studios Sale or Donated to the cause. We certainly appreciate it all. If you didn't know,80% of everything at AngelEarth Studios was destroyed in a flood, and we are attempting to rebuild and get back to work. We're about $1500 shy of getting everything back in order so feel free to share this sale with all of your friends. 

All of the Mark Watson's AngelEarth "Collections" are 75% off.The Complete Collection is 12 hours of music for $50 for example ...... You can't beat that price.

Check them all out at 
www.angelearthmusic.com/download-store
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